The Rules Of Conduct With One’s Parents

(Excerpted from Futuwat namah by Khwaja Husayn Wa’iz Kashifi Sabzawari An Naqshbandi Translated by M. Nur Abdussalam)

If asked: How many are the rules of conduct with one’s parents? Say: Twelve.

1.      You should consider respecting them a duty.
2.      You should not leave them in straitened circumstances with respect to their worldly needs.
3.      You should not tax them with obligations for what you do in caring for them.
4.      You should not be sharp with them.
5.      You should respond quickly when they call you.
6.      You should not frown when meeting them.
7.      You should perform whatever they request provided it is not sinful.
8.      You should not speak loudly with them or with others in their presence.
9.      You should not go on a journey without their permission.
10.  You should strive to secure their happiness.
11.  You should recognize that obedience to them will result in you eternal salvation.
12.  You should consider performing good deeds to them second only to divine worship. As God says: And they Lord has decreed that thou worship non but Him, and that thou be good to thy parents (17:23). The Prophet said: [Heaven lies beneath the feet of mothers.]

In short, one cannot enter the garden of delight without their approval. Verse: 

Heaven in which lies our satisfaction
Is beneath the feet of mothers;
If you wish to obtain God’s satisfaction,
Behave so as to obtain the satisfaction of mothers.